Longings of a heart

“ Pride is not about having something. It is about having something more than the other person. If comparison is gone, pride is lost.” C.S. Lewis The cardio-physiology lab at Christian medical college is medical technology at its zenith. Mega machines and multiple monitors make its operators a humble lot. The centrally air-conditioned Cath lab with X-ray machines to scan from various angles, creates a semblance of robotic medicine. The series of radiations that these innovations emit scan through the heart and guide the interventional cardiologists into the right vessels. And I was there to sedate an agitated patient and thereby aid in a smooth procedure. Suddenly I overheard a conversation. I admit that eavesdropping is not the most virtuous of acts, but the topic of discussion captured my attention. “Just with a cardiology degree we must not be satisfied. We need to do at least three fellowships. A single one is not enough!” . A cardiologist is one who takes three year...

It has been 2 since I got married. It happened on a roadside country chapel in coastal Andhra. Clad in immaculate white and a translucent veil, a girl entered the church. And also my life. Today is her birthday. I have no expensive gifts to enchant her with, except for this humble medium of writing-of expressing what she has meant to me and how life has changed since marriage. But then I realize that the lessons my wedding taught me have universal pertinence. That’s why these lines find place on a web page and not a private greeting card. On 5th June 2013, when my mother turned 50, I had made a covenant in the presence of God to share my life with my wife. Everyone told me life changes after marriage. They are right. Through the love and life of my wife, I have learnt these facts. 1.        Marriage is God’s idea: I find it fascinating to see how marriage is a central pillar of all societies in this world. From Las Vegas where drunkards spel...

It had just rained heavily. The downpour from pregnant clouds had cooled the precincts of our single roomed home. At six in the evening, after a good afternoon nap, we had an idea of praying together as a family- my wife and I. We opened the Bible and read about Jesus sending His 72 disciples to heal the sick and proclaiming that the kingdom of God is near. The Scriptural reading was followed by a time of reflection on what the passage meant to both of us. We learnt that the job of us as medical professionals is incomplete without addressing the spiritual aspect of life. When Jesus said heal the sick, the focus was not on physical well-being as much as it was about the good news that Christ came to bring sinners to repentance and grant them eternal life. Meeting the deadlines of the day and preparing for the next, often eclipses the purpose of our work- both of us realised and we resolved to be complete health workers, meeting all spheres of health needs. I desperately waited for...

‘Aim at heaven, you have earth thrown in. Aim at the earth you get neither.’- C.S.Lewis. The wheels of the new Honda Activa raced along the serpentine road between Visakhapatnam and Bheemili. The rider cruised past the sharp turns and steep curves deftly. Suddenly there was a mishap. The scooter slid out of control hitting the pavement grievously injuring the driver.A few moments later, a crowd gathered around her. I was on the same road on my way to a retreat. I stopped more out of anxiety than concern to see what had happened. The person who sustained the injuries was my junior in college. I was no stranger to her like the rest of the crowd. Someone had called an ambulance and soon she was taken to the hospital. The point there, was that  I was a doctor and had just received registration from my state’s medical board. As my junior waited for the critical care personnel to arrive at the scene, I did nothing to even arrest the profuse bleeding that concealed her face. I w...

The south west monsoon had made its advent exactly on schedule, probably for the first time in my living memory. Each year they would reluctantly make mild advances and cool the summer heat only by July. This time they were not only corporeally punctual but also looked vituperative with boisterous winds and rash showers. The village of Repalle encountered this monsoon with a sense of surprise. The wedding home of ours was nearing perfection on the big day. Plastering, whitewashing the walls marked with greenish moss, the making of thatched Pandiri made of Palm leaves- a quintessential element of Telugu wedding, glowing lights illuminating the dark made our ancestral dwelling, a marriage home. Banners were put up; carpets were laid, sound systems arranged, and a buzz of the activity by relatives all around. All this set the tone of matrimonial frenzy in our family especially me. After all it was my wedding. I could not sleep the night before the wedding. My Bride was waiting in ...

All phenomena on the planet have their set of side effects- the unwanted collateral damages they beget. Marriage is not immune to such predicaments. I am now writing this from a laced wooden cot- those sleeping equipment that make appearance in any ordinary south Indian home. I am thoroughly exhausted. The string of Nalugus has taken their toll on me. For five days and for fifteen meals to be exact, I have been eating only Chicken. I went to my aunt’s place. I got Chicken stew with fried rice. I went to my uncle’s place. I was fed Chicken fry and Coconut rice. I went to my sister’s place. I was given Chicken and white rice. So this made me, an ardent devotee of Chicken averse to its very smell. So yesterday, my bowels revolted against this gastronomic non sense. I puked. Then I had loose stools. From then, I had to decide between social obligations and medical compulsions. I had to choose between Chicken and abstinence. Normally that would have been an easy choice. But for a Telugu...

The pleasant breeze comforts the humid bodies stressed out in summer heat. Trees nod in unison confirming  the sweetness of that sensation. The birds are just back after a busy day out. The crickets rustle in rhythm as if they are the orchestra of the evening. I sit in a wooden push back chair welcoming the guests trickling in well past the scheduled time. My mother calls me in with a tone of urgency. I quickly change from Peter England formals to a vest and Lungi - the south Indian attire of the layman which can be confused to a bed sheet tied round the waist and well known for its comfort. A neighbor who is well versed with the traditions of wedding brings a chalk to a place in the verandah  cleaned by a bucket of water. She artistically draws a floral design. A plastic stool is arranged and I am asked to get seated over it. My nephew who is 8 years is asked for and he appears more out of compulsion than curiosity. He is the best man and he gets a similar plac...