PG- THROWN IN

‘Aim at heaven, you have earth thrown in. Aim at the earth you get neither.’- C.S.Lewis.

The wheels of the new Honda Activa raced along the serpentine road between Visakhapatnam and Bheemili. The rider cruised past the sharp turns and steep curves deftly. Suddenly there was a mishap. The scooter slid out of control hitting the pavement grievously injuring the driver.A few moments later, a crowd gathered around her. I was on the same road on my way to a retreat. I stopped more out of anxiety than concern to see what had happened. The person who sustained the injuries was my junior in college. I was no stranger to her like the rest of the crowd. Someone had called an ambulance and soon she was taken to the hospital. The point there, was that  I was a doctor and had just received registration from my state’s medical board. As my junior waited for the critical care personnel to arrive at the scene, I did nothing to even arrest the profuse bleeding that concealed her face. I was inept at handling a case of trauma. I did not know how to offer even a proper first aid to my own people.

I was ashamed. I hid myself from my friends and family for hours for a serious introspection. How could I be so bad that even after getting a medical degree I still hesitate to stop and offer help? Was I the only dumb chap in my batch or is there a flaw in the system I had worked in? Few days later there was a discussion among our group about what needs to be done post MBBS. Some options emerged.  One was to prepare for PG sitting in the auditoriums of the big cities along with thousands of aspiring specialists as the professors bombard us for ten hours per day. I thought it was a safe choice and my parents did not have much trouble shelling out some thousands. So to this option I naturally went.  For a couple of months I was in these huge halls where we would have classes on some of the biggest branches of medicine once a week. The rest of the days I used to sit on the study desk trying to finish my portion for the next session putting in almost ten hours per day.

I used to start my day reading newspapers which highlighted the lack of doctors across tribal belts in the country. My conscience pricked me. How could I being a doctor supposed to offer help sit and prepare myself for higher qualification in these deep dungeons?  I could not answer that question. I took time for finding the solution to this philosophical dilemma. It was a time of intense struggle. I had already discontinued my preparation for civil services and my parents were finding this vacillation morbid. My dad seriously doubted if I would do something good in life. I went online to see any hospitals in rural setting wanting help. I was shocked. Almost every hospital in the country wanted doctors- specialists and general practitioners. I chose to go to this place called Asha Kiran Hospital since I had been there for a week in my internship for an exposure course. This is a 40 bedded hospital situated in the Andhra-Orissa border.  I called them up. I was told that they were in need of a junior doctor for two years. I made up my mind that I would go there. My parents gave up on me. As the train began to move, my dad told me that I was going against their wishes and whatever transpired in my life after that moment, they would not be responsible. I nodded and I began the journey that would change my life forever.

Asha Kiran was started in the early 1990s to serve the tribal groups of Koraput district. It started as a hospital that would offer secondary care to people who did not have a semblance of medical facility in the near vicinity. Statistics showed that I was in one of the most backward districts in the country with obnoxious medical indices. I began work trying to learn the local dialect and committing some medical blunders. Soon I got to know the system and the people. In other words I got absorbed into the good system of Asha Kiran. Another fact I unlearned was the popular perception that junior doctors don’t have anything to offer patients as they are not skilled enough. Of the total patients I saw only 10% were those I could not solve or manage. Rest were basic enough for a GP to handle. I was content that I could be of some help to the most backward communities of the country.

Drs. Viju and Molly were a constant support at  Asha kiran

Meanwhile, I was in touch with my friends who were getting into PG. Batch mates would post pictures of their new victories on Face book and I always doubted if I was doing anything significant. But those two years were times of intense contemplation- about God, about the purpose of human life and about how we can make life fruitful. Those times lulled down my ambition, gave time for myself, to realise my strengths and weaknesses. I can say for sure that I became a deep person. There are so many things in life we need to learn other than academics- charity, compassion, love and service. I started to learn those virtues which most of the universities of today fail to inculcate. Like an oasis in the desert of academics, I was introduced to PG diploma in family medicine from CMC Vellore. I had to attend contact classes regularly and it was during one of these visits that I met my wife. She is a person who has a heart for missionary work and had been in the field during Christian persecution in Kandhamal. Her faith inspired me and challenged me. We thought we could come together as a family on this common ground of faith and service.

Meanwhile I had written my entrance to CMC Vellore and the results were delayed due to some legal tangle. It took six months for the results to be declared. On the day of the results I could see my name on the notice board with sombreness and thankfulness rather than emotion and exuberance which I thought that moment would beget. My getting into PG reiterated the truth that when we try to do good to others, the same will come back to us. It may take time and on many an occasion living for the moment may stifle the hope for tomorrow. But that blessing and Providence from above will break through the darkness of disappointment. I got into Christian Medical College, the second best in the country according to India Today survey 2013. I got married to the person I love within a week of my PG admission. This was a season of blessing for us as a family.

It is interesting to see how life takes us to various places. But in all these we can see a theme of God leading us to the purposes for which we were made. My advice to all my juniors is to put the poor before ourselves and service before ambition. Strive to make a new path rather than treading the road which everyone takes. I think all richness and progress has come to this world not by men who played safe but by those who took risks and pursued a new way. People, systems, peers and family try to tie you down to orthodoxy and monotony. We need to break through the bondage of human opinion and live the lives we are called to. Only then we can make a difference in this world. Only then we will be remembered. Thousands of doctors are made every year and thousands also die every year. I do not want to be one of them. I want to take my chances and risk it all rather than stay on the bank and be fascinated about the waves. What about you?