Longings of a heart

" I f you being evil, know how to give good gifts to you r children, then how much more does the Father in heaven!" Matt 7:11. I was carrying the pain bleep for the month of January. I would see patients suffering from post op pain and relieve it with bolus of opioids and anesthetics.  And at dusk I would go around monitoring their discomfort. Alice who was eight months pregnant would insist that she would accompany me. We enjoyed our romantic walks around the wards of Christian medical college. One day as we passed by nursery, the neonatal ICU, Alice said ‘, This place is scary! Very sick kids are kept here .” I nodded and looked around. Parents in anxiety were looking through the glass window to catch a glimpse of their children. ‘They would be feeling horrible no? ” my wife said. ‘I don’t know !’ I replied bothered more about finishing rounds.                     ...

‘I never went to religion to find comfort. I always knew that a bottle of Port could do that. If anyone wants to come to religion to find comfort, I would certainly not recommend Christianity.’-C.S.Lewis December always brings with itself an air of celebration. During my childhood, the last month of Roman calendar would bring new clothes, long leisure and cosy winter wear. The season of Christmas was always associated with gifts and fern trees decorated with cards and bells.   25 th December is a holiday with no school and good food. Though my mom would say that it was not about Biryani but Christ who was born for us, it hardly sustained my attention beyond the confines of the carols and cathedral. In my college, I began to understand what Christmas was really about. Every year I read through the pages that are called Gospels. And each time I read new and radical themes come forth. These thoughts, cause unrest and joy in equal proportion. This year on the Christmas...

The MRI room no 11 buzz with activity at 4:30 in the evening. I monitor a 2 year child with development disorder in the globular contraption that scans his brain. He is the 10 th child we drug to unconsciousness that day. Life becomes monotonous and dreary as a PG registrar. There is no time for Alice and our temperament begins to strain. So we decide to escape.  It is 4 in the morning on Saturday.  Ours is the only light illuminating the corridors in the annexe. We wake up in a jerk, pack the backpack and get down for an auto rickshaw. We get into a terrifying 3 wheeler that picks the rough spots on the road for us to tumble. We reach the bus stand for a bus to Chennai. As the vehicle starts, Alice falls asleep. I watch the majesty of NH 4 as my ears are plugged to Don Moen’s tunes. The bus races past the 120 kms in two hours. The green country side gradually gives way to the metropolitan bustle with universities, hospitals, real estate villas and restaurants filling...

“ Pride is not about having something. It is about having something more than the other person. If comparison is gone, pride is lost.” C.S. Lewis The cardio-physiology lab at Christian medical college is medical technology at its zenith. Mega machines and multiple monitors make its operators a humble lot. The centrally air-conditioned Cath lab with X-ray machines to scan from various angles, creates a semblance of robotic medicine. The series of radiations that these innovations emit scan through the heart and guide the interventional cardiologists into the right vessels. And I was there to sedate an agitated patient and thereby aid in a smooth procedure. Suddenly I overheard a conversation. I admit that eavesdropping is not the most virtuous of acts, but the topic of discussion captured my attention. “Just with a cardiology degree we must not be satisfied. We need to do at least three fellowships. A single one is not enough!” . A cardiologist is one who takes three year...

It has been 2 since I got married. It happened on a roadside country chapel in coastal Andhra. Clad in immaculate white and a translucent veil, a girl entered the church. And also my life. Today is her birthday. I have no expensive gifts to enchant her with, except for this humble medium of writing-of expressing what she has meant to me and how life has changed since marriage. But then I realize that the lessons my wedding taught me have universal pertinence. That’s why these lines find place on a web page and not a private greeting card. On 5th June 2013, when my mother turned 50, I had made a covenant in the presence of God to share my life with my wife. Everyone told me life changes after marriage. They are right. Through the love and life of my wife, I have learnt these facts. 1.        Marriage is God’s idea: I find it fascinating to see how marriage is a central pillar of all societies in this world. From Las Vegas where drunkards spel...

It had just rained heavily. The downpour from pregnant clouds had cooled the precincts of our single roomed home. At six in the evening, after a good afternoon nap, we had an idea of praying together as a family- my wife and I. We opened the Bible and read about Jesus sending His 72 disciples to heal the sick and proclaiming that the kingdom of God is near. The Scriptural reading was followed by a time of reflection on what the passage meant to both of us. We learnt that the job of us as medical professionals is incomplete without addressing the spiritual aspect of life. When Jesus said heal the sick, the focus was not on physical well-being as much as it was about the good news that Christ came to bring sinners to repentance and grant them eternal life. Meeting the deadlines of the day and preparing for the next, often eclipses the purpose of our work- both of us realised and we resolved to be complete health workers, meeting all spheres of health needs. I desperately waited for...

‘Aim at heaven, you have earth thrown in. Aim at the earth you get neither.’- C.S.Lewis. The wheels of the new Honda Activa raced along the serpentine road between Visakhapatnam and Bheemili. The rider cruised past the sharp turns and steep curves deftly. Suddenly there was a mishap. The scooter slid out of control hitting the pavement grievously injuring the driver.A few moments later, a crowd gathered around her. I was on the same road on my way to a retreat. I stopped more out of anxiety than concern to see what had happened. The person who sustained the injuries was my junior in college. I was no stranger to her like the rest of the crowd. Someone had called an ambulance and soon she was taken to the hospital. The point there, was that  I was a doctor and had just received registration from my state’s medical board. As my junior waited for the critical care personnel to arrive at the scene, I did nothing to even arrest the profuse bleeding that concealed her face. I w...