Childlike aspirations - Faith

"Let the little children come to me and do not forbid them. For of such is the kingdom of God. Assuredly I say to you whoever does not receive the kingdom as a little child will by no means enter it". Luke 18-16,17.

Being a registrar has its own set of health hazards. From inhaling medical gases to eating stale food, you are at risk of many medical dangers you fight to mitigate. It is riding a stallion that may stamp you as it gallops. In the last one year I was down with a bout of chickenpox and conjunctivitis. A few episodes of gastritis and many days of fevers that flee in no time. My colleagues had a tougher time. Some had sprained their backs and were confined to bed for weeks. One of my close friends met with an accident and was out of action for a semester.

I cannot recollect what I had been doing that day. By evening I was down with severe cramps in my tummy. Some machine was churning my innards with persistent vigour. The stomach pain gave way to loose stools. I would sit idly for some time and then in a fit of urgency run to the bathroom. My body would be sucked out of energy and fluids. I would come out sweating, panting and tired. A few moments of respite and the same exercise would recur.

My daughter was watching daddy's sudden spasms of activity closely. As I would lean on the bed for brief moments between the episodic opening of gastric floodgates, she would stand next to me- concerned and confused at the same time. Daddy who was all exhilarated and jovial with her was not the usual self today. He was apparently tired to play and do storytime.

Hours passed and the other end of my system opened up. I was retching and the chest was burning caustically . All the lunch of chicken and rice had departed from my body in no time. The dose of antibiotics to contain this teasing trouble also came out with chunks of avian meat.

I walked gingerly from the faucet to the bed and collapsed. The medical brain had already put up flashcards of diagnosis and various methods to alleviate this diarrhoea.

 A small voice inside whispered "prayer". I choked it to silence.

"This is infection and food poisoning which will self limit when the viral load is shed out of the system or may be a bacteria upsetting my stomach lining . A course of antibiotics will set things right.!", my scientific side declared emphatically.

'But prayer has the power to heal, because God is Jehovah Raphah- the healer ', spoke the voice I had silenced before.

As the argument in my mind became more intense, I suddenly heard some mumbling from the farther corner of the bed. My two and a half year old was praying with her eyes partially closed, occasionally winking to look at her mother and her cooking.

A minute later, Amitha opens her eyes and says ' Daddy! Get up Daddy! I prayed no! You are fine now! Shall I buy you brown cake?'

I was dumbstruck. Her three syllabled words from chocolate filled mouth filled me with pride and shame. I was proud of her faith and ashamed of mine. It was Alice and I who told her that when you are sick prayer would help. And when you pray God listens and helps you through.

We as adults suffer from this predicament called rationality. Though we speak of God and faith richly and frequently, when the rudder meets the road, we tend to look for solutions from other quarters. Our faith is limited to vocabulary but not  practicality. We need God for help and relief but not transformation and action. Religion becomes our culture and lifestyle but not our foundation for living.

My daughter struck the right chord . She taught me what child-like faith meant. She not just believed that prayer helps in trouble but also trusted that her prayer was heard and that daddy had already become well!

God gives us progeny not just for us to take care. He puts kids in our lives to take stock as their brutally honest and uncomplicated worldview would lay bare our shallow religiosity and hypocritical constructs. We teach that all are equal but do not consider a helper's child equal in value as our own. We say all are equal in our schools yet are cautious about the friends our children choose - all the more when they belong to another caste and religion.

Meanwhile , my daughter brought her favourite storybook and cajoled me to begin a story. I was humbled by her simple faith.

I need to have that faith. Jesus, now I realise all the more from the peurile demeanour of my child, was not joking when He said kingdom belongs to these. Until I become like one of those kids who have faith that is small , uncomplicated, pure, practical and honest, I cannot really do much for the kingdom. Faith in action is true faith after all.

I must learn the faith that I am so busy teaching my daughter. Child like yet not childish!!