Faith, doubt and medicine

FAITH, DOUBT AND MEDICINE

“…Let him ask in faith with no doubting, for he who doubts is like a wave in the sea driven and tossed by the wind.”- The Bible.

Life is a drama with scenes engendering varying emotions. Hospital is a place where we can best see this phenomenon. Life and death; hope and discouragement; victory and defeat; faith and doubt appear as two facets of a coin as we walk through the wards. More than the white coats, the stink of phenol, the needles and injections, these feelings emanating from human hearts have touched me in my sojourn as a junior doctor. And the question, why people do not comply with our instructions, in the recent staff meeting triggered this prose.

In a place like tribal Orissa, where awareness levels are abysmally low, a perfunctory look at the hospital reveals a lack of trust- the pervading feeling that the hospital authorities are bent on causing harm to the patient. Noncompliance to treatment, thinking that doctors want to squeeze out the last penny; unwillingness to surgery, assuming that the surgeon would kill the patient; not granting privacy  for procedures on their wards- are all signs to show that this malady of distrust needs to be tackled primarily. Now, we can’t do anything about lack of faith. What we can do is to alleviate the suffering of a few, which can be a testimony to many others who live in the borderlands of trust. With this, the most obstinate of sceptics will realise the virtue of medicine.

Things have changed a lot since Ashakiran had started its work. The most primitive tribe like the Bondos have allowed doctors to enter their camp and do Caesarean sections. Some among them have become health assistants, learning to conduct normal deliveries and treatment of common ailments. Recently a child was operated for Hirsch sprung disease- a maldevelopment of bowel. That for me was the lesson on how people can trust you when you have integrity. After all, giving your bodies to a harsh knife is a matter of great bravery. These things inspire young doctors like me. They give a reason to work in remote areas. They proclaim that change is possible and victory is at hand.

But there are always a group who have closed minds. They cannot accommodate worldviews that are alien to their own. For them change is sin and dishonour of traditions. Child suffers from Cerebral Malaria, fighting death in the ICU and the father wants to take him home to observe a festival. Young boy comes with duodenal perforation and returns unable to trust the procedure that is lifesaving. Mother delivers her progeny, and wants to leave, with profusely bleeding uterus. Going to a higher centre for a scan is a distant dream. I still remember a child who came with suspected Budd-Chiari disease needing a Doppler for the patency of abdominal vessels. They had to go to Visakhapatnam, 200 kms from the hospital. Their transport was arranged. Hospital staff had consented to go along with them. Financial constraints were taken care of. After much cajoling the father had consented. We were all quite happy about it when we got the news that the father got down mid-way and took the child off suspecting the genuineness of the total affair

From the hospital that offers such contrasting lessons, I look at my own self and examine these twin qualities of trust and doubt. I am shocked to realise that I myself do not trust people enough. Is the shopkeeper telling the correct price of the product? Is auto driver charging me the right amount? Is the food this restaurant hygienic enough? Each moment I have a transaction there is a shroud of doubt that eclipses my faith on fellow men. Why then should people trust me? Especially when I am a doctor, demanding people to surrender their bodies to the mercy of my potions and blades? How can I expect it from people who hardly know anything other than witch doctor and animal sacrifice?

This bad infection spills over to the spiritual realm as well. Jesus made it clear that one cannot serve two masters. He declared that doubt and faith cannot stay together in a heart. We say our future is secure in God, but we have insurance policies. We say we trust God, yet think a lot about bank balance. We say God will provide, but most of our thoughts are preoccupied by how our needs will be met. We say God will equip us, but most of the times we struggle for easy shortcuts to human glory. As a patient who thinks of the next quack, if one does not give sudden relief, I immediately look for solutions from men if prayer is not instantly answered.

The fact remains that it is impossible to please God without faith. I totally surrender issues to God, only when I trust Him completely. When that happens, I do not worry too much about the taxi fare or the honesty of the shopkeeper, because He is in control. Faith probably is mutual. I begin to trust people around me; they’ll in turn begin to understand the authenticity of my intentions. That will make the world a better place with people devoid of cynicism and prejudice. But how often we miss the point that it all starts with trusting God?